Monday was a ‘doozie’
I woke up feeling anxious. So I listened to a guided meditation called “fear clear”. Then I picked up a book I’m currently enjoying: “The Book of Knowing and Worth” by Paul Selig.
It didn’t take long before the voices in my head started reminding me that it was Monday and I “should” get up and “get to work”. Traditionally, Mondays are the day I work ‘on’ my business (marketing, planning) , not ‘in’ it (working with clients).
However, as you probably know by now, since July I’ve been on a different track. It has NOT been business as usual.
This is the greatest gift I have given myself this year: Being willing to be true to myself. To honor the whispers of my Soul and journey through “The Void”. To be willing to sit in the extreme discomfort (fear) of letting go what no longer resonated – even though it was all working so well - and answer my Souls call to be still and await what was wanting to be birthed next.
On this journey, I have experienced (repeatedly) that when I honor my truth and move from my internal promptings – even when they run counter to conventional thinking and conditioning – everything flows smoother and the results I get are better than I could have imagined!
As I lay in bed, honoring my inner prompting to be still, I became aware of emotions that were coming up – sadness, terror, guilt – and as they intensified, I reached out for support to move through it.
I am very conscious I could have chosen to do it alone, however, it is so much faster and easier with support! I am so deeply grateful to my family & dear friends, my assistant, my coaches, healers, guardian angels and spirit guides who are my support team.
That is the second biggest gift I gave myself: as much time and support as I needed.
I started emerging from “The Void” last month and getting some clarity around what is next for me and my business, my conditioning had me trying to go back to my old ways of doing things, my Soul had other plans. (I wish I could tell you this has been fun but…)
Change can be hard. It can be extremely uncomfortable.
I am having to take things on a day by day basis (which makes future planning tricky and requires me to strengthen my ability to trust). My inner control freak is freaking out! (despite the fact that client roster is steady and my income hasn’t dropped – go figure!)
As a result, last weekend I found myself micromanaging my husband and my son with weekend chores and college applications (and getting into heated arguments as a result). In hindsight I realize, I’m looking for control where ever I can find it – because I believe I don’t have it in my business right now. (which is totally not true)
Being in control is one of the ways I learned to feel safe.
The trick is, if we are ‘wanting’ control, we’ve fallen into the trap of believing we don’t have it. We equate not knowing the details, or doing things differently, to not having control.
In order to be in the flow – to have life unfold with ease and grace – we have to let go and TRUST
…That everything we need is available exactly when we need it.
…That we are provided for.
…That we have control.
…That we are powerful.
As we head into the Holidays this weekend, I want to remind you:
- To focus on what you HAVE, not what you don’t have.
- That, even when you are physically alone, you are NEVER truly alone.
- To set the intention to RECEIVE as much as you give.
- To open yourself to being aware of the support and love that IS here for you.
- To LET GO of attachment to being happy or feeling good.
Part of the challenge of Christmas is a false believe we are “supposed” to be joyful. (“Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas!”; “Ho, Ho Ho!”; “Merry Christmas!”)
There are whole industries built around helping us to avoid feeling “bad”. Here’s the thing though, when you don’t have to avoid anything - feelings, people, situations – only then are you TRULY free. (Have you ever heard the saying “what you won’t be with, won’t let you be”?)
Setting yourself free is a journey you can begin at any time. It requires awareness, willingness, change, release, forgiveness, shifting your mindset, opening to new possibilities.
It is a journey I lead my clients on. It is a journey I am always on myself.
It is my wish for you that you will gift yourself with the FREEDOM to choose how you’d like to BE this Christmas:
- BE true to yourself (Honor your true feelings. Make choices from desire versus obligation)
- BE fully present with whatever is happening (Your point of power is always in the present moment)
- BE gentle and compassionate with yourself and others (because it feels really good!)