Back in September 2020, I saw an invitation to an in person retreat in Sedona, Arizona posted on a FB group of which I’m a member. Curious, I clicked on the link to the info page and my whole body lit up with a desire to go.
Mind you, I only barely knew the guy who posted it. We had met briefly at an A-Fest event in Italy 3 years ago. He had left quite an impression on me though. I had never met someone who lived with such an open heart. His very presence was intoxicating.
I made the decision to go. I didn’t even know what the retreat was about. I knew it would be fellow “A-Festers” (heart centered, adventurous, interesting people) and I was excited because it was in Sedona (I’d never been). My body lit up in a familiar way – my “internal GPS” was screaming YES!
I paid the deposit immediately to secure my space and booked my travel. I wasn’t deterred that I’d have to fly into Phoenix then make the 2 hour drive Sedona. That felt like an exciting part of the adventure!
Four weeks later as I pay the balance, I am still all in.
One week before I leave, I am watching a news report about how the pandemic numbers are rising at an alarming rate in every state, including Arizona. New travel warnings are being issued. I feel fear gripping my mind. “Who are these 13 other people that are attending? Are they taking precautions against exposing themselves to the virus? We’ll all be staying in the same house! Am I putting myself and Gary (my husband) at risk by going? Will I get a refund if I decide not to go?”
Doubt sets in and I fly off a text message to the woman who is the main organizer. “What precautions are you guys taking about the virus? What are the sleeping arrangements? Am I sharing a room with someone?”.
I am somewhat reassured and relieved as she tells me they have been talking about that, shares their protocols and let’s me know I have a private room. My mind relaxes.
I check by in with my heart, my body. I remember the full body yes I got when I initially signed up and decide to trust that. I know my soul would not put me in harms way. I still want to go.
This is the all too familiar battle of the head and the heart. Have you experienced this too?
The head – the thinking mind – is always strategizing. Figuring out the best way to meet our needs and – most importantly – keep us safe. It is very easily influenced by doubt and fear. It is also a product of our cultural, familial and educational conditioning. (This is the “mental slavery” Bob Marley sang about in his famous “Redemption Song”)
The heart, on the other hand, knows YOUR truth. It has the map, the blueprint for your life. It is the keeper of your true desires and your purpose. It is also the seat of the soul in the body.
Let me make it clear that I am not advocating leaving the head out. It has an important role to play. The head and the heart need each other. When they are both open and connected (integrated) you are able to access what I call the Sovereign Mind. Your authentic feelings, desires, purpose, passion and perspective. Your truth. This is the most powerful place to live from. But I digress…
So off I went to Arizona in the midst of the pandemic to stay in a house with 13 “strangers” – and what an amazing experience it was! The retreat was called Time with the Divine (I know I must have read that on the initial info page but didn’t really take it in till I got there)
It was an incredibly heart opening experience that reminded me why I can always trust my intuition. My “full-body-yes”.
I had many incredible experiences, including seeing UFO’s! But the piece d’resistance came on the last night we were there.
It was late at night. We were all chatting and laughing together in the kitchen after a sacred mushroom ceremony, I noticed Katie rubbing her neck and asked if I could help. She said “yes please!”. She had an incredibly powerful healing experience.
As real as the experience was, a little voice in my head scoffed at the idea that we could be that powerful. However, the knowing I had deep inside me was so strong that I never doubted that the Democrats would win – even when the initial results were looking otherwise.
When I knew for sure why I was called to be at that retreat – at that point in time, with those particular people – was when I saw that Arizona, a long-standing republican state, had “flipped” and was also won by the democrats.
That’s the thing about intuition. You have to learn to trust it because you usually don’t have any proof/evidence (in that moment) that what you are feeling is true or sure. It requires pure faith (trust in your Soul). It usually speaks in a whisper and then – when you lean in – you get more clarity.
You build this trust through strengthening the connection and relationship with yourself – Body, Mind and Soul. It is a process. A journey worth taking. One that has great rewards. The greatest of which is inner peace, passion, purpose and joy.