Today is my Mothers 82nd birthday! I feel truly blessed to still have her around. I am even more grateful for the roads we have travelled to get here today! We read the same books, enjoy talking about life, spirituality and health. It wasn’t always this way…
At one point we lived in the same house and hardly spoke to each other for about a year… I thought she was controlling and manipulative, she thought I was heading down a path of self destruction (not living my life the way she thought I should). There was much anger and judgement – on both sides. I remember feeling envious of my friends who (I assumed) had easy, close, loving relationships with their mothers.
The turning point came one day during a conversation with a male friend of mine many years ago. I was bitching and complaining (again) about something my Mom had done, or said, and came to the grand conclusion that “She (my mother) needs to just accept me for who I am!”. My friend, very gently, said “but Helen, you are not accepting her for who she is either…”. Wow! Talk about a light bulb moment! I realized that if that’s what I wanted from her, I had to be prepared to give it first! Sometimes we, the children, have to be the teacher. (Not a widely recognized concept when I was a child). We assume that our parents, or the adults around us, should know better. But we forget they are simply repeating the patterns they learned (as do we).
I have tapped into this wisdom to create peace in myself and heal many relationships since then, especially with my Mom and I am truly thankful for where we are today. I love you Mummy! Happy Birthday!