I  “suffered” with bouts of depression for most of my teenage years and on and off through my 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s. What I now understand is that my depression was simply anger turned inward.  I happened to be angry for all kinds of reasons: because I didn’t get the attention I wanted; I was made to do things I really didn’t want to and made to feel quite powerless; I was told how I “should” be, or that how I was being was “wrong”, which made me feel “not good enough” (which is a big, fat lie). I lived what I learned, so every day I was creating my life experiences from this place of mis-understanding.

My journey of healing began in earnest when I discovered the work of Louise L. Hay in the form of her best selling book “You Can Heal Your Life”. I learned that I had a CHOICE. I had the power to CHOOSE: What I think about, who I hang out with, how I spend my time, how and where I live, what I believe, etc. WOW!!! Talk about an awakening!

I learned about the power of belief and how we create our lives by what we choose to believe. 

I set about creating a life that I love. Not the life I was taught would be a “good” or “successful” life (by other peoples standards). I redefined what success means to ME. (In the interest of full disclosure: This didn’t happen overnight and I got a lot of help).

It is an ongoing journey because we have to experience life to learn about it. As I have experiences, I learn what I like and what I don’t like, then I get to adjust the choices I make, the things I believe are possible and create a different set of experiences. This then gives me another opportunity to experience, decide and make different choices. How cool is that?!!!

Now my life is about showing others that they can too!

I  studied yoga which helped me become more aware – of my thoughts, my actions, my body, my reactions – because if you are not aware, how can you assess and then adjust accordingly? I learned ways of working with the energy in body and techniques to reprogram my mind so that I would create experiences more deliberately instead of by default. I expanded my consciousness and now understand that there are unlimited possibilities for creation! How much better does it get than this?

Now as I approach my 50th birthday in March, I continue to learn and grow and feel so grateful for all my experiences!

The most significant thing I have realized recently is this:

If you are feeling down, or uncomfortable inside yourself in any way, you are doing one of 3 things:

1. Doubting Yourself

2. Criticizing Yourself

3. Comparing Yourself

Pay attention. You’ll see. There is a very simple cure for this.

DECIDE to Never, Ever, under any circumstance, make yourself wrong again!

Ask yourself these questions: “What if I was never wrong?”. “What if every action and decision and experience I ever had was PERFECT?”   Can you see that if everything is Divinely perfect there would never be anything to doubt or criticize?

Hmmmm…… Food for thought. I would love to hear your thoughts on this so leave a comment below!

Have an amazing day!

Join the discussion 11 Comments

  • LIZ says:

    Love this Helen!!

    • Helen MacMillan says:

      Thanks Liz!

    • Neary says:

      Sometimes I think talking about it is a huge step. Depression can be a very loelny and debilitating disease but having a forum to talk about it, in a safe way, can be liberating and then all of the sudden it loses some of it’s power. Hang in there. I know it’s not easy but you’re doing the right things..-= Abbyb4s last blog .. =-.

  • Roseamarie says:

    Helen! how perfect! This is right on time for me today, the exact message I need to here at this very moment, so thank you! Love, Rosie

    • Helen MacMillan says:

      Thanks Rosie! I only blog when I feel inspired to write, so your Spirit must have called this to you today! Thank you for taking the time and energy to let me know. Have an amazing day!

  • Hilaire says:

    Helen, very thought-provoking. I too have battled with depression, from my 20s to the present. My approach, though, has been a bit different from yours. I too have read Louise Hay, and for a time, found her to be quite compelling. But not anymore.

    I’m not so sure that I share your diagnosis of depression being anger turned inward. I entirely accept that depression may be triggered by negative cognitive patterns, and indeed environmental (exogenous) factors. However, there are often indogenous factors over which we have little control, and therefore little by way of “choice”. To date, science still hasn’t been able to pin down what exactly causes depression, though it has identified ways of managing it. I know of more than a few persons who have “chosen” to do all they can within their power to be free of depression, yet remain almost crippled by it. This suggests strongly to me, that there are other factors at work, which are simply not reducible to ‘choice’. I’m presuming that when you speak of depression, you are referring to unipolar depression. Does your analysis extend to bipolar depression as well?

    I agree that our choices can indeed have either a positive or negative impact on our state of mind, and therefore our quality of life. However, it seems to me that you are implicitly assuming that (a) we universally have the same choices available to us; (b) that we all have equal or similar capacity to make choices, and more particularly choices that are beneficial to our mental well-being. I think you may also be overlooking the medical reality that depression often impairs human judgment, and undermines human capacity to make beneficial choices. That’s certainly been my personal experience. I also think that you may be overlooking the epistemological dimension of choice: to make ‘good’ choices, one must have knowledge that the choices actually exist. So let’s say I was born in a poor working class family. The chances of me knowing (a) that I’m suffering from depression; or (b) knowing that I can do something about it – are obviously far slimmer than if I was born in a middle class family with access to information, education, and resources.

    I think that thinkers like Louise Hay, while well intended, are somewhat reductionist in their approach – in assuming (almost) that individuals have all the requisite power within themselves to heal themselves; and that it’s simply a matter of choice. Having completed 50 years on this plane, my broad experience tells me otherwise. (Incidentally, nobody is going to believe a youthful crissas like you is a member of the distinguished club of ’62!)

    Anyway, don’t get me wrong, I’m not say that we humans are powerless; just that we perhaps don’t have as much power as you suggest.

    Thanks again for sharing your blog!


    • Helen MacMillan says:

      Thank you for taking the time and energy to share your perspective. I appreciate it! I can appreciate your perspective, however, my experience of working with the body-mind for over 26 years and with the amazing recent discoveries in the field of mind-body medicine, makes me believe otherwise. For example, The now scientifically proven fact that our thoughts affect our physiology (and all matter); and the fact that what we think is “solid” is actually not! I would encourage you to investigate for yourself books like “The Genie in your Genes” by Dawson Church; “The Biology of Belief” by Cellular Biologist and former Lecturer at Harvard Medical School, Dr. Bruce Liption and “Molecules of Emotion” by former NIH researcher Dr. Candace Pert. As we continue to expand our knowledge base and our consciousness, our brain is able to accept and open up to even greater possibilities and create what formerly would have been thought of as MIRACULOUS! 🙂

  • Helen it would seem that many of us live with this dilemna. When I realized that peoples opinions were mostly representational of their own experiences and that they had very little do do with me and my actions then I was truly free to make my choices. This freedom has afforded me choices with no regret. Often those close to us will rebel for the loss of their control over our lives and we must recognize it for what it is.
    Healing I agree comes from this recognition.

  • Charles Edwards says:

    This is so true………..awesome, the way to go. It is like opening the cell doors and release yourself to a new and peaceful life.

  • Arleen says:

    This is so right on Helen. Love it.

  • Reinel says:

    Hey, that’s a clever way of tinhking about it.

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