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Personal Growth

The Social Media Dilemma

Compare1[rant warning]

I’m so tired of hearing about how social media leads to social comparisons and makes people depressed (because people only post themselves at their best, never at their worst, which skews our view of them and their reality.)

I say so $&@!-ing what!!! You always have a CHOICE.

If you compare yourself to someone else and find yourself lacking, you can be depressed and hopeless … OR …you can be inspired!

(I think there is way too much focus on what’s wrong and negative in the world anyway.)

Have you ever noticed when you post something bad that happens to you on FB you get more likes and comments than ever?

Post something positive and you hear comments like so-and-so is blowing his/her own trumpet! He/She “thinks so much of his/herself!” Of course these comments are never made publicly, or to the person directly, as that would be politically incorrect (which is code for waaay too honest).

[ok getting off my soapbox now]

Besides the fact that we are all so conditioned to think and act a certain way, I think the problem is that most of us are living way below our full potential. Never pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones and discovering what we are truly capable of!

We are imprisoned by fear, self-doubt, blame, shame and envy.

At 52 years, I am realizing that most of my life I have not played to win. I played not to lose.

There’s a big difference! (It’s never too late to change that though.)

When you’re super intelligent your half ass can look like some people’s best, so it’s easy to cruise and still accomplish a lot. (Another reason we don’t benefit from comparing ourselves to others).

The problem is that inside yourself you know you are not giving it your all, and it impacts your relationship with yourself: You are out of integrity with yourself. You know you have not fully honored the gift of life that has been given to you. It can lead to a low grade “blah” inside of you. A feeling like there’s something missing in your life.

I have consciously created my life the way it is now. Years ago, I began a process (which is ongoing) of taking stock and deciding what I liked and didn’t like about my life. I kept what I liked and set to work on changing what I didn’t. I used to be the one looking on in envy at those who seemed to “have it all” (or at least more than me).

For a long time I thought the thing that created the chasm between where I was and what I was experiencing and where “they” (the ones who I deemed to be “better off” than me) were, was money. What I learned is it wasn’t. It was their mindset, their beliefs. They were thinking differently than me, and as a result, making different choices and taking different action.

I also learned that you can’t judge a book by its cover and perception is everything. You never know what’s really going on in someone’s life. You only have a one dimensional view of it. So any judgement you have will be skewed because you don’t have context.

As you look on, notice how it affects you and use that valuable information to know more about yourself: what you are feeling, what you are believing and make changes, if necessary.

Years ago, I became conscious of how often I used “I can’t afford it” as an excuse for not doing something or having something I wanted. I decided to never let money be the thing to stop me ever again.

The truth is, money used to mystify me. I believed I didn’t understand how it worked or how to make a lot of it. So I set out to learn more about it. To unravel the many negative perceptions I had around it and, dare I say? … Befriend it! When I explored and acknowledged my relationship with money, it empowered me to change it.

One of the most liberating things was when I learned to live beyond limitation by asking “how can I?” instead of saying “I can’t!”

If you get depressed or jealous when you look at people’s accomplishments on FB it simply means that you have some mental programs or beliefs that need to be changed. You need to change your way of thinking, open your mind, and expand your horizons.

Instead of being jealous, be inspired. Know that if someone accomplished something, you can too!

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