When “Bad” Things Happen To “Good” People

It’s 3:30 am and I am in the midst of final packing and preparations to go to the Be The Change Event in Orlando.

I had written my post on Sunday but was inspired to send it as an email that day. At the time I hesitated, thinking “then I’ll have to come up with another one”. (Lol. The scarcity mindset still rears its head at times)

Immediately I heard “there is no lack here Helen. You always have plenty to talk about”. (How true, when I was young my older brother used to ask me if my mouth was  battery-powered! Lol)

Inspiration came in the form of an email from a woman who has greatly influenced my life – Rikka Zimmerman.

 The email was informing us that the pinched nerve she had been bothered with recently was found to be caused by a cancerous tumor in her spine. 

 Initially, I felt shocked, saddened and, truth be told, somewhat fearful.

Here’s why: I consider Rikka to be someone who lives with a high level of consciousness, integrity and spiritual connection. She eats healthily, has done lots of personal healing work and lives an active lifestyle. She takes good care of herself and has even found the love of her life in the last 2 years.

 She seemed (at least from the outside) to be doing “all the right things”. She “should” be healthy right? My fear was a spontaneous and conditioned response:  If all the things she was doing didn’t “protect” her, I’m certainly “doomed”!

This way of thinking is a result of our conditioning. It’s what we are taught. Eat right. Exercise. Think happy thoughts. Be kind. Love well. And all will be well.

Not so much.

Years ago, in the midst of a personal crisis I read a book called “Why bad things happen to good people”. I don’t really remember the exact message, I DO remember being comforted by the fact that just because I was having a “bad” experience, it didn’t mean I was a “bad” person.

I’ve come to understand that when we get sick, it doesn’t mean we did something “wrong” (smoked, had unprotected sex, etc.) or didn’t do something “right” (exercise, eat healthily, take vitamins..). It is just another life experience and, like all experiences, they come to serve us in some way. After all, we all know people who did all the “wrong” things and are as healthy as an ox and others who do all the “right” things and get sick.

(It’s the same in our business. We can do all the things we’re “supposed” to and just not get the results we see other people getting.)

I’ve worked with many people that have had, or are currently having, a cancer experience. One of the ways I see it serving is as a “permission giver”. It gives the individual an opportunity to make changes that they didn’t think they could before the diagnosis. 

 It is an opportunity to shift relationships, lifestyle, living situations, self care habits. It is an opportunity to open to receive differently. To be supported differently. To love more – especially themselves.

It takes a mindset shift to embrace this point of view, however, I have found that it can make the difference between accepting and embracing what is (and having peace) or fighting or resisting what is (and having pain).

With practice you can choose peace.

Rikka’s level of consciousness, her inner strength, her healthy habits, have put her in good stead to move through this experience with ease and grace. She is optimistic about the outcome of the treatment and is choosing to embrace this part of her life’s journey with her usual expansive and positive outlook.

Please join me in sending her love and healing energy. And while you’re at it, will you give some to yourself?