I have a very intimate relationship with failure.
I fail at something every day. I am more aware of it now simply because I have made peace with my inner critic and I have a no negative self talk policy. (It’s not that I don’t have negative/critical thoughts about myself, it’s that I don’t entertain them once I am aware.)
This allows me to gently redirect myself when I become aware that I have gotten distracted from the task at hand or I have completely derailed! Lol!
I practice deep compassion with myself … most of the time. (yep! some days I fail at that too!)
It wasn’t always this way. I beat myself up for years. It’s what most of us are conditioned to do. It led to depression, dis-ease and diminished my self confidence and self esteem.
When it did motivate me to act, it did not produce the best outcome and was never deeply fulfilling or wildly successful.
I had simply checked another item off the “to-do” list, but deep inside, I didn’t feel successful. (can you relate?)
It’s interesting how much we do to avoid facing failure and letting others see that we have failed. We lie. Avoid. Deny. Cover up. All of which just digs a deeper, darker hole.
My mother always used to say: “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive”.
The most important person to come clean with is yourself.
Yesterday morning I had an experience that really ‘triggered’ me. I found myself highly annoyed by a persons actions. I went within and got curious about how annoyed I was. I knew there was an opportunity for a gift here.
My inner judge stepped forward gleefully (this is her zone of genius) helping me to clearly identify the aspect I am judging: “She’s out of integrity!”
Hmm. yes she was…and…I was still annoyed. So, I got curious. Was I out of integrity somewhere in my life?
Boom! 3 different circumstances popped into my mind. OMG! I sure was!
I felt instant gratitude because, now that I am aware, I can take steps to change it. That’s where our power lies!
So ask yourself today: Where am I ….
1. Avoiding failure? (limiting your opportunities for success)
2. Covering up or denying my failures? (harboring shame and guilt)
3. Unwilling to see what the mirror of life is trying to show me? (missing opportunities for growth and expansion)
Sometimes it’s easier to see it in others because you’ve become skilled at hiding it from yourself. (That’s what we call the shadow personality).
Stay in the question and allow the answers to come to you.
If you are open and willing to see, hear and feel… they will come.