Personal Growth

Small changes. Big Difference.

By August 26, 2012 14 Comments

I am passionate about life. Not just existing, going through the motions each day, but truly living. Waking up each day feeling grateful for my life and joyfully anticipating my day. Feeling free!
I didn’t always feel this way though. There were many periods in my life that I dreaded a new day. Not wanting to wake up. Being pissed off that I had woken up at all! I was one of the “walking dead”. I did things because I felt I “had to”. I was angry and resentful a lot of the time, not that anyone really knew. I wore a mask of pretense and “played nice”, so I would be liked and accepted. My life was not a joy. I was miserable and seeing people who seemed to be happy and who I assumed “had it all” made me feel worse!   Can you relate? I bet many of you can, although it’s not something we are proud to admit!

Deep down inside though, I really wanted my life to be different. I didn’t like feeling so bad and eventually I got sick and tired of “feeling sick and tired”. I also got tired of feeling angry all the time and truthfully, I really wasn’t even sure what I was so angry about anymore! I was pissed off at myself more than anyone else. I felt disconnected and alone, even when I was with others. I knew something had to change!

We have a saying in the Dream Coaching Community: “How do you eat an elephant?”.                                                 The answer?  “One bite at a time!”
So where did I start? One step at a time and it is how I teach my clients to do it now.

Here are a few of the actions I took to turn my life around:
* I made feeling good a top priority.
* I stopped watching the news and reading the newspaper because I found they made me feel depressed.
* I stopped having negative conversations
* I decided to be kind to my mind. I adopted a “zero tolerance” policy for negative self talk (for myself and others)
* I started being selective about who I was spending my time with (positive people who were enthusiastic about life and making something of their life).
* I devoured self help books. Learning as much as I could.
* I attended personal development workshops and retreats.
* I learned to meditate and strengthened my connection with God/Source
* I got help healing many of my emotional and spiritual wounds (from healers, shamans, reiki practitioners, massage therapists, psychologists, hypnotherapists, the church)
* I changed my mindset relating to who I was and what I deserved; money; relationships and about what’s possible.

When I started in my journey of self healing, I did not love myself enough to do it for me. Luckily, I had two beautiful children at the time (that’s them on the left) who I realized were modeling my behaviors and we’re being affected by my level of consciousness. I knew that if I wanted things to be different for them, I would have to work on me.

In hindsight I now realize that every small step I took was an investment in my growth and healing and was sending a message to the Universe that said “I am valuable, I deserve it, I am worth it!” and the Universe responded by mirroring that back at me through increasing positive experiences and people.

Today, I can genuinely say “I Love My Life!” (99% of the time :-)) On the odd occasion where I catch myself feeling off. I know to check in and see where I am out of integrity with my truth or buying into a belief that doesn’t work for me and I get genuinely excited because I’ve got a new fun project to work on…. me!
I am still a work in progress and I love that about myself! 🙂 How about you?

      Please leave a comment below. I LOVE to hear from you! (even if it’s just to say hi and let me know you were here).

Join the discussion 14 Comments

  • Doreen Blake says:

    Thank you for sharing. I can relate to many instances when I fall down in the pit of self-doubt and self-loathing. Although, I know about positive self-talk and trusting in a Higher Power, oftentimes, I allow the devil to take control of my thoughts when I am going through changes and faced with life challenges. Thank you so much, because, I know now take another step in the positive direction by forgiving myself and utilizing all the actions for a better frame of reference and start working of me again. Much love Helen.

    • Helen MacMillan says:

      Doreen, Thank you for your honesty. I think as strong women we are so accustomed to relying on ourselves that we can be reluctant to reach out for help. We retreat into ourselves and do battle with the demons within. 🙂 One of the most powerful things I ever did for myself was to invest in getting the help I need!

  • Helen says:

    Thanks for sharing your story. I myself have taken some of these steps as I too want to experience a happy life filled with joy and ‘feel good’. I know it may not be realistic to be that way all the time, but I’d sure like to feel that way the majority of the time. I’ll take 99%. My journey continues…

  • Nicola says:

    Helen, I have to say this blog definitely hit a chord. I have been at the point of feeling like a zombie, going through the motions of life and simply doing stuff because it is what I am supposed to do, and smiling on the outside while feeling absolutely wretched on the inside. I am so glad I am working on me (finally). Thankfully, I have a reference point to work towards, because for many years I was extremely passionate about my life, positivity and success surrounded me…. and this is what I am working towards these days. With your help to “clear the clouds” that have built up with various life experiences, I know I can return to “living in the sun”. Thanks for the inspiration today.

  • Carl says:

    So true Helen. My life mirrors your past with the exception that I wear my unhappiness on my sleeve and spout negativity with and in between each breath. Such an exhausting way to live! Such a hard road to divert from…………so here I go, one bite at a time,,,,,

    • Helen MacMillan says:

      Carl, Thank you for sharing. Yes, it is exhausting to live that way. You absolutley can turn it around! I am here if you need help.

  • debbie C. says:

    Ur blog is very inspiring, and I do agree with good things in life that makes u present and valuable God is the true source of our attention. Thank u and continue to keep us inspired!!

  • Hey Helen, Thanks for sharing your story it makes me look at my life differently caused I Feel like you did.

Leave a Reply