I am passionate about life. Not just existing, going through the motions each day, but truly living. Waking up each day feeling grateful for my life and joyfully anticipating my day. Feeling free!
I didn’t always feel this way though. There were many periods in my life that I dreaded a new day. Not wanting to wake up. Being pissed off that I had woken up at all! I was one of the “walking dead”. I did things because I felt I “had to”. I was angry and resentful a lot of the time, not that anyone really knew. I wore a mask of pretense and “played nice”, so I would be liked and accepted. My life was not a joy. I was miserable and seeing people who seemed to be happy and who I assumed “had it all” made me feel worse! Can you relate? I bet many of you can, although it’s not something we are proud to admit!
Deep down inside though, I really wanted my life to be different. I didn’t like feeling so bad and eventually I got sick and tired of “feeling sick and tired”. I also got tired of feeling angry all the time and truthfully, I really wasn’t even sure what I was so angry about anymore! I was pissed off at myself more than anyone else. I felt disconnected and alone, even when I was with others. I knew something had to change!
We have a saying in the Dream Coaching Community: “How do you eat an elephant?”. The answer? “One bite at a time!”
So where did I start? One step at a time and it is how I teach my clients to do it now.
Here are a few of the actions I took to turn my life around:
* I made feeling good a top priority.
* I stopped watching the news and reading the newspaper because I found they made me feel depressed.
* I stopped having negative conversations
* I decided to be kind to my mind. I adopted a “zero tolerance” policy for negative self talk (for myself and others)
* I started being selective about who I was spending my time with (positive people who were enthusiastic about life and making something of their life).
* I devoured self help books. Learning as much as I could.
* I attended personal development workshops and retreats.
* I learned to meditate and strengthened my connection with God/Source
* I got help healing many of my emotional and spiritual wounds (from healers, shamans, reiki practitioners, massage therapists, psychologists, hypnotherapists, the church)
* I changed my mindset relating to who I was and what I deserved; money; relationships and about what’s possible.
When I started in my journey of self healing, I did not love myself enough to do it for me. Luckily, I had two beautiful children at the time (that’s them on the left) who I realized were modeling my behaviors and we’re being affected by my level of consciousness. I knew that if I wanted things to be different for them, I would have to work on me.
In hindsight I now realize that every small step I took was an investment in my growth and healing and was sending a message to the Universe that said “I am valuable, I deserve it, I am worth it!” and the Universe responded by mirroring that back at me through increasing positive experiences and people.
Today, I can genuinely say “I Love My Life!” (99% of the time :-)) On the odd occasion where I catch myself feeling off. I know to check in and see where I am out of integrity with my truth or buying into a belief that doesn’t work for me and I get genuinely excited because I’ve got a new fun project to work on…. me!
I am still a work in progress and I love that about myself! 🙂 How about you?
Please leave a comment below. I LOVE to hear from you! (even if it’s just to say hi and let me know you were here).