The most important love relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. The relationship with yourself is primary. It informs and influences all the other relationships in your life: with your spouse, friends, children, career, clients, money…
Here’s how it works: The world is just a great big mirror reflecting you back to yourself. Your beliefs, abundance, joys, sorrows. It makes perfect sense doesn’t it? How else can you see yourself but in a mirror?
So the people, relationships, and experiences you attract are there to show you all the different aspects of yourself – to give you an opportunity to you see, accept, embrace, and love… YOU! How amazing is that?
Well, great if you’re attracting people and situations that mirror your loving, kind, sexy, generous self right? Not so great if they are mirroring the parts of you that you have been conditioned to judge, condemn, reject, and even hate!
Have you noticed that when you are in a great love relationship you literally glow?
Your inner happiness and peace make it hard for everyday challenges to “ruffle your feathers”. People can’t quite figure out what is different about you and you are naturally more attractive than ever. I call this “Love Zone” your “Million Dollar Zone”. It’s a state of being where everything is flowing, there is a sense of ease, opportunities appear like magic, you feel energized and joyful and, as the old saying goes: you “feel like a million bucks!”.
Having a strong, healthy, loving relationship with yourself is one of the keys to living there.
Here are a few tips to help you create and/or strengthen your love relationship with yourself:
1- Teach people how to treat you by treating yourself with loving care and kindness. Practice radical self care. Set healthy boundaries with others, get adequate rest, exercise, and nourish your body, mind and soul. Spend time with yourself. Write yourself a love note every day. When you see your reflection in a mirror, give yourself a compliment.
2- Honor your truth. Figure out what is true for you and honor it. Stay in integrity with yourself by honoring your agreements with yourself and others. This strengthens your trust in yourself. Every time you let yourself down, every time you dishonor yourself, you are undermining your self trust and strengthening the voices of judgement, criticism and doubt in your head!
3- Embrace ALL aspects of yourself. Your vixen, inner bitch, saint, liar, lover, procrastinator. As long as you are rejecting any aspect of yourself you are not whole and complete. Would you be willing to choose to love and accept the parts of yourself you have been taught to judge and reject? To celebrate your inner goddess and your inner warrior?
4- Decide to never make yourself wrong. Think about it. How does making yourself wrong help anything? How does blame or shame serve? You don’t need to make yourself (or anyone else) wrong in order to change something. You can simply decide that you don’t like the consequences and focus on what you would prefer and do and be that instead!
5- Create a harmonious environment within you by changing your self talk. Practice being compassionate with yourself. Whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Humans thrive when they are nurtured, encouraged and supported. Be your own cheerleader.
6- Be willing to make feeling good a priority! The sensations you feel in your body when you feel good is feedback from your inner guidance system saying “yes, yes, yes!”. It affirms and supports health and well-being. If you practice tips 1-5 you’ll be well on your way!