Are You Living YOUR Dreams?

I have been in almost constant motion for the first six months of this year. It’s all been good. As one person commented on my FB thread last week “you are living the dream”.

That is true. Most importantly, I am living MY dream.

Are you living YOURS?

For a good chunk of my earlier life, I was living someone else’s dream. Initially, I was living the dreams my parents had for me (doing ballet and music lessons, going to college, getting married, having children). I had no real agenda or dream of my own, so I was living the dreams that I was given or conditioned to believe I “should” want. The dreams my parents, my teachers, my friends, my husband or society had for me.

The thing is, I was not aware I was living other people’s dreams. 

Many of us look to the world around us for cues as to what we “should” be doing or creating or wanting. That’s because as children decisions are made for us. Most of us didn’t have control over where we lived, what schools we went to, or even what professions we chose!

There is a law of physics that says “an object in motion stays in motion”. Once you set out on a path, a certain trajectory, you tend to keep going unless something happens to interrupt the momentum. These are usually life events such as illnesses, accidents, bankruptcies, divorces, etc.

I’ve had my fair share of “interruptions” (near death experience, divorce, illness, burnout) and have learned – in hindsight – to accept them for the gifts that they are. I’ve learned to pay attention when they are happening, stay open and ask: “how is this meant to serve me? I now receive them with gratitude instead of irritation (most of the time) 🙂

The big dream I am currently making a reality (making great money doing what I love by building a successful coaching business) is one that requires personal growth and expansion. I’m continually learning new skills and how to juggle more and more “balls” (tasks, responsibilities, scheduling, delegation) at the same time.

With all the momentum I’ve built in the last 6 months, over the last few weeks I found myself “dropping a few balls” (not returning emails and calls when I said I would, not following up with prospective clients in a timely fashion, not being consistent with my exercise).

I knew it was time to slow down, check in and make some adjustments. Whenever I do this, I am always amazed at what I become aware of inside myself.

It’s harder to stay abreast of all the feelings when you are moving fast and there is a lot going on…. There is simply more information or the brain to process.

When you get quiet and still, drop in and feel, check in with yourself, your body, your soul, you connect with what’s underneath the surface. You become aware of feelings you’ve been avoiding and the things you’ve been tolerating – or ignoring altogether.

It’s uncomfortable to face our fears, vulnerabilities and own our s*it. It’s why we don’t like to stop.  It’s also harder to get going again. (That’s why some people don’t take vacations… or schedule a massage in the middle of their week… or meditate.)

Here’s the thing though, when we are charging ahead at full throttle, just by virtue of the very speed at which we are moving, there’s a lot of scenery we are missing. It’s also easier to get derailed, and nearly impossible to change tracks, when the train is moving at high speeds.

Before you know it, you are on someone else’s agenda, living someone else’s dream or living a dream you no longer want to be living. In order to see more, or change tracks, we have to slow down. We can only get a new perspective when we take the time to slow down, assess and look at a different view.

Where in your day, week, month, or life, are you making time for that?

It’s integral to plan for, and schedule, time to work ON your business as well as working IN your business (after all, a dream without a plan is just a fantasy) and to take the time to adapt the plan as you move forward (to accommodate the interruptions life sends your way). It’s equally as important to include in your planning and  schedule the people and things that bring you joy and add value to your life.

To be truly effective, reach your highest potential, be true to yourself and innovate (create anew) we have to create the space for it. We have to be willing to experience some discomfort. To interrupt our current way of thinking and being so we can see and experience a better way.

Whether it’s adding some support. Using the support you already have in place differently. Letting go the things and people that are not working effectively and efficiently and bringing in new systems and people. Making a tweak to the plan here and there… It all begins with being willing to take a time out. Slow down, reassess and readjust.

Here’s to living YOUR dream!