Personal GrowthUncategorized

AnnaKay’s Gift

By December 12, 2013 7 Comments


Last week I got the devastating news that a dear friend and past-client of mine had committed suicide. My initial reaction was one of anger and denial: “They better investigate this as a homicide because she would NEVER take her own life!”.

The person I thought I knew so well was gregarious, joyful, outgoing and outspoken. Although she was divorced, she had an amazing support structure and loving relationships with family and friends. Her business was booming. She had 2 young children whom she loved and protected fiercely. It just didn’t make sense that she would take her life!

It is at times like these that I am so grateful for my connection to Spirit, my knowledge of emotional release, and my willingness to find the gift in the pain. I went deep into my emotions and let the energy run freely through my system. As waves of denial, anger, sorrow, and guilt rolled through me, I opened to Source to find the answers I so desperately sought. My cognitive mind was seeking to make sense of something so seemingly senseless. I accept death as part of life, so it was not the fact that she had died that was creating the suffering in me – it was the way she died. It was a shock to my system because it was so out of context with who I perceived her to be.

Once I was willing to let that go and accept what is. I began to see the gift in it all:
Shock has the ability to wake us up. To get our attention big time! When a light as big as AnnaKay’s is snuffed out in such a shocking way it certainly gets the attention of all who knew and loved her (and even some who didn’t). It makes us stop, think about things we may have been ignoring, or taking for granted, in our lives and our relationships. It gives us an opportunity to assess how present we are with ourselves, our emotions, our loved ones. It gives us an opportunity to reassess what’s truly important in our lives with a view to making some changes. That, is a huge gift! And Anna loved to give. She was one of the most generous people I know.

For those of  you who loved Annakay, as I did, honor her by taking the gift of this opportunity for your own wake up call. Look at your life, make changes, get help, communicate more, reach out. We are not meant to take this life journey alone.

For those of you who may not of known her, I invite you also to take the opportunity to stop and reflect. Reach out to those you love and connect. Don’t sweat the small stuff and celebrate what you do have!

Join the discussion 7 Comments

  • Aven Peralto Nichols says:

    Thanks for sharing Anna’s gift with us all Helen.

  • Aven Peralto Nichols says:

    Thanks for sharing Annakay’s gift with us all Helen.

  • Cherylann Johnson says:

    wise introspection….everything happens for a reason, some we will never know, but some smack you hard across your face…its what you do with this tragic message…
    Love ya

  • Marjorie Simpson says:

    I stumbled across your blog quite by accident this morning. I read with great interest your expressions of love for your friend and how your coping mechanisms came into play for you. My spirit is the Holy Spirit and my source is God – simple as that. I AM celebrating my multitude of blessings and although I think I would like to make changes, perhaps I am exactly where I have to be for now. Perhaps the changes I could make are within myself and how I react to situations which are sometimes cruel, thoughtless hurtful actions of those around me. Let there be peace. You have blessed me this morning Helen, so I thank you and wish many blessings for you in return.

    • Helen MacMillan says:

      Thank you Marjorie! I appreciate you talking the time to share your thoughts and your gratitude with me. Come back again soon. Have a blessed Christmas Season!

  • Marjorie Simpson says:


Leave a Reply