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How DO You know who to Trust?

By November 10, 2015 No Comments

Every time I lead a group or an individual through a deep dive intensive, I am blown away and humbled by what is possible when we let go and trust the process. Our cognitive mind always thinks it knows the best way to get where we want to go, but the truth is, its perspective is always limited by our current levels of consciousness and belief systems.

If you want to get radically different results, you have to be willing to make a Radical Shift (a big change). In order to do that, you HAVE to be willing to let go of where you are and what you currently know, so you can open to new possibilities and expanded awareness. You have to let go of who you are now so you can step into who you can become.

                                             This is a very scary prospect for most people.

It helps when you already have a high level of trust/confidence in yourself or the person who is guiding you. It starts with DECIDING to trust.  The challenge here is that we have been conditioned NOT to trust.

We consistently get the message that the world is a NOT a safe and friendly place. Our beliefs have been shaped by our own experiences, observing the experiences of others, and by what we’ve learned in our homes, schools, churches, on the Internet, news and television.

Just this morning I bought a bowl of oatmeal at my favorite breakfast spot in the airport. As I sat down at the gate and pulled it out to eat, I noticed it was a little too dry for my taste. The gate was right next to the restaurant, so rather than drag my bags with me, I asked a lady sitting close by if she would watch my bags, while I ran back to the restaurant to get some hot water added to my oatmeal.

I immediately noticed her discomfort and hesitation. Her eyes flitted back and forth, her mind working quickly trying to decide if I looked trustworthy or if I was a terrorist trying to leave a bomb with her. Seeing her hesitation to accept this responsibility, I said “I could pull it closer to you if you like”, to which she quickly responded “No, No! Just leave it right there”.

Her face was a picture of sheer relief when I returned, stirring my now more liquid oatmeal. I smiled and thanked her, appreciative that she had decided to trust.

Here’s what I know for sure: I won her trust because:
(1) I had given it first – I decided to trust that she wouldn’t steal my bags and run off with them. I decided to trust a “stranger”.
(2) I was BEING trusting. The reason I can do this is because I have learned to deeply trust myself. To listen to the little voice inside myself. AND, I’ve done the inner healing work necessary to calibrate my inner GPS (guidance system) because there are situations and people who are not worthy of your trust.

Every day we are faced with the decision of whether or not to BE trusting. Over and over again. When we delegate a task to an assistant or a to contractor. When we sit on a chair. Get on an airplane. Go for a walk in the woods. When we sign up for a program. Apply for a job. Hire a new employee. Offer our services to a potential client.

Remember, people are more likely to do business with people they know, like and TRUST.

The more you trust yourself, the easier it is for others to trust you.

So how DO you trust yourself? (Especially when you have lots of evidence that you shouldn’t – because you have lied to yourself and others for so long. Because you’ve let yourself down. Over. and over. again.)

Here’s where you start:

1. You reframe all the times you think you “f*cked up“. You look at the situations from a different perspective and see how they served you. What did they teach you? (When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.)

2. You forgive yourself and others and make peace with your past.

3. You clean up all the broken agreements and everywhere you are out of integrity with yourself and others.

4. You CHOOSE to trust yourself. If you don’t believe in you, how can you expect others to?

5. You get radical with setting healthy boundaries and practicing self-care.

It’s a process. It’s easier and more fun when you have help and support.
Are You Ready?  I can help you with this. Let’s talk.

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