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Business GrowthPersonal GrowthSuccess

The Power of Disappointment

the-unexpected-gifts-of-disappointmentEver just feel like you’re struggling? You know what you “should” be doing, yet you just can’t seem to muster up the motivation or inspiration to do it?

You do just the bare minimum. The things that are already on your schedule. You show up for your commitments, but in the spaces around them, you collapse mindlessly in front of the tv or numb out watching movies on Netflix or Amazon prime.

That was me last week. I felt exhausted! I’ve been unusually busy the last two months with lots of travel, preparing for my next breakthrough intensive, as well as 2 major event sponsorships back to back (I met some of you there).

In the middle of all that travel, speaking and connecting with tons of new people, my husband and I have also been trying to buy a house.  It’s been a lot!  

I literally was signing an offer document online while waiting on my flight to take off for Las Vegas 2 weeks ago. (We we on the Tarmac nearly 3 hours waiting for a major thunder storm to pass). 

When that offer didn’t pan out I signed another one while sitting at my booth in the exhibit hall in between talking to prospective new clients. (Talk about juggling balls!) Lol!

When that offer was accepted, I figured I didn’t feel as excited as my husband because I was distracted by all the activity I had going in with my sponsorship in Las Vegas.

When I got home, I figured it was because I was exhausted from my trip.

After resting for two days and having an amazing massage, I had to accept that this simply was not my ideal home and I just wasn’t excited about living there.

I kept hearing my own voice in my head telling my clients over and over “Stop settling! You CAN have what you want!”

I told my husband how I felt. I didn’t want to lose the deposit but, I was willing to. It was more important that I honor my truth and my happiness was worth waaaay more than a few thousand dollars. (This is a HUGE celebration for me as there was a time when I would have bought a house I didn’t really love rather than “waste” the money).

Once that was decided, the Universe quickly opened up the way for us to get out of the contract without losing our deposit. (score!)

Within 24 hours we saw a house that we BOTH fell in love with and put an offer in on it. I was ecstatic! I went to bed that night designing the new kitchen we were going to install before we moved in. I saw us entertaining family and friends on the beautiful, private back deck with the towering trees and the gentle stream below.

I was already living in that house!

So imagine my confusion and dismay then when our realtor called the next day and informed us the owner had gone with another persons offer!!!

My deep disappointment quickly turned to sadness and then anger. I wanted to blame the realtor for not advising us better around what to offer. I railed at God/Universe for not coming through for me. After all, I did everything I was “supposed to”! I acted as if… I believed…  I took action.

WTF!!!

This was the tipping point. It is a place of opportunity.

As a child, I lived near the reservoir that provided the water for the city where I grew up. Over the years the silt in the water settled and built up. Only when the water levels were extremely low – in times of drought when it was nearly empty – was it possible see and access the silt at the bottom – and clear it out.

That is the purpose of what I’ve come to call the “perfect storms” or “trifecta’s” of life.

This is where several things happen in close proximity. Each one, presented and dealt with by itself, you could handle, but piled on each other they wear you down – empty your reservoir – and create an opportunity to see what’s collected at the bottom and clear it out.

That’s the point.

So here I am a week later, choosing to stop and honor the feelings as they come up and sitting with the question: “What’s right about this that I’m not seeing?”

Here’s what right about it so far…

I got to see that I didn’t really believe I could find my dream home for the price I wanted (and change it)

I got to see how accustomed I am to getting what I want and remember what it feels like to experience the disappointment of not getting the what I want.

I get to practice strengthening my TRUST in the universe to bring me exactly what I want.

I get to practice being RESILIENT.  

I got to honor and VALUE the importance of having the right home for me – a space that I feel inspired by and nurtured by.

My husband and I got even clearer about what we really want in our next home.

I get to strengthen my FAITH that something better is coming, or that the current sale will fall through and that house will still be ours.

It takes COURAGE to “get back on the horse” and decide to be hopeful and trust again after a bitter disappointment or a betrayal.

It requires FAITH to keep going in spite of the lack of evidence – i.e. – results.

How many times have we invested in a program and not done the work, or don’t get results, and use that to stop ourselves from investing in other programs?

How many times have we given up because we didn’t get results the first time we tried something – and proclaimed “I’m just not cut out for…”?

How many times have we relied on someone to do something (they say they would do) and they let us down? (So we became distrustful and a proud “Do-it-my-self-er”).

How many times have we been lied to? Felt disappointed, hopeless, hurt, rejected?

Each one of these are OPPORTUNITIES. You can choose…

To shut down and stop going for your dreams

To play small and hide out

To disconnect and stop trusting or interacting with others

To contract and stop investing in yourself

To assume you are not good enough and the world is not a friendly place

OR, You can choose…

To strengthen your resilience and your resolve.

To see where you are now. How much you’ve grown, or where you still need to grow.

To see how committed you really are.

To see and accept your own shadow (the aspects of yourself you have been taught to judge, reject, or even hate)

To gain new levels of self awareness, self love and self acceptance.

To forgive and to release what is no longer needed.

To embrace your own light.

To grow, heal and expand.

How you interpret and respond to the circumstances of your life will ultimately determine whether you are in heaven or hell and whether you live in joy and prosperity, or in contraction and despair. You get to choose.

If you are stuck in blind rage or bitter disappointment, you are not really free to choose because you are not able to see other options in that moment. This is where having tools and support to help you move through those powerful e-motions can help you to get to a place of calm clarity – a state where you can take advantage of the opportunities present and chart your course for where you want to be.

That is a powerful place to be. I can help you get there.

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