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Finding The Gift In Your Pain

By November 1, 2017 No Comments

My body was out of alignment. For a few days I had been feeling a ‘clicking’ in my right hip and lower back. I went to chiropractor and got adjusted. It didn’t hold. Within 30 minutes it was clicking again.

A deep tissue massage and another trip to the chiropractor helped, but did not completely resolve the issue. I knew my body was trying to tell me something.

When an issue doesn’t resolve right away it’s an invitation to look deeper, so I spent the weekend being curious as to where I was out of alignment in my life or in my business. It didn’t take too long to see it. Ugh! (Yes, yes. I still sometimes judge myself).

I was having an issue with someone who was doing a project for me in my business. The project had been limping along for 9 months and I was ready to get it done. We agreed on an action plan that would force us to complete the project within a 2 week window – to ensure it got done.

I found out the individual went on retreat for the first week of that 2 week window. WTF?!!

I sent her an email. No response.

Finally the next day, a response via Facebook to a message expressing my deep frustration and letting her know I was seriously considering hiring someone else to complete the project. While she responded to my request to meet to discuss certain aspects of the project, there was no acknowledgement of my frustration.

I was now enraged. Triggered. I felt unheard – just like when I was a child.

I knew I needed to get this project done quickly. I hate confrontation. I hate being the “bad guy”.

But I hate feeling disempowered and ignored even more.

I took myself through my “Quick Shift Process” (a tool I created to help shift your mental and emotional state and get into inspired action)

I feel… I would prefer to feel… In order to feel that, I need to believe… One action I can take right now that is aligned with that belief is…

I wrote her an email expressing how I feel, ending it with a powerful statement of what I want: The project complete within the original 2 week window we set – with ease, grace and joy.

I hit send and felt the release that comes with acknowledging my truth and expressing it.

The next morning there was a response in my inbox: “Hi, I see you responded but there is no information in your email”. They had hit reply, so I was able to see that all my email contained was my email signature. And. Nothing. Else.

Seriously??? I had to laugh!

I checked in with myself and realized that my anger was still dissipated and so just confirmed the time to meet later. I recognized the magic in the experience. My intention to honor how I was feeling AND have a peaceful outcome created this magic!

The more we surrender into the pain and embrace the gift, the faster we receive it.

When we spoke, I shared my feelings and perspective and told her about the email that vanished into thin air! We laughed heartily and she apologized for not acknowledging my feelings and for not communicating that she would have been away. She also expressed deep gratitude for my willingness to have an open, honest conversation. We then mapped out how we would get the project complete on time (which we did).

Oh and the clicking in my back and hip? Gone.

That’s what I call a win-win-win!

Want to get better at creating “win-wins” in your personal and professional relationships? Check out my upcoming Powerful Communicator Intensive. It’s a 2 day live event December 8-9, 2017. Get more info or register here.

Until next time.

Big Love,


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