Did you see the movie “Fences”?
I loved it! It is based on a powerful play by August Wilson.
I loved that even though it was a movie, I felt like I was watching a play. No cinematic fluff.
I loved that the filmmaker chose to keep it simple and NOT to use all of the tools available through current technology. It was carried solely on the strength of the brilliant acting (Viola Davis won the academy award for Best Actress and Denzel Washington was nominated for best actor) and the powerful use of dialogue.
As a teacher, healer and agent of change, I loved the use of an entertaining story to convey a deep message:
1. Hurt people, hurt people. Until, we do the work of healing our own pain we inevitably cause pain to others – especially the ones we love.
2. When you can find a way to heal your pain and forgive. THAT’S what sets you free.
3. We are highly influenced by social constructs and we often create our lives based on social conditioning rather than on our true desires.
4. So much of our conditioning has set us up to fail or make life a struggle. We must change the conditioning (mindset) and the patterns it created, in order to turn the tide and set ourselves up to succeed.
So where do we begin?
By changing our Mind. The way we think and ultimately the way we respond. By becoming aware of the patterns that limit and restrict us and asking: “how can I change this so I can create something different?”
The thoughts the mind uses to stop or limit us.
When we think thoughts like: “I can’t”… or, “I don’t know how” … or, “I don’t know what to do…”, they are perceived by the conscious mind as statements of fact, and it simply says “and so it is!” (which keeps things as they are).
On the other hand, If you ask a question, the mind automatically starts to look for answers (solutions).
Put the power of your mind to work FOR you!
Step 1: Ask yourself:
- What if I did know what to do?
- What if I did know how?
- What if I didn’t need to know why, in order to take action?
Step 2: See what thought or ideas (solutions) pop into your mind.
Step 3: Trust it enough to take action.
Step 4: Manage the inevitable doubt and fear.
5 Steps to help you accomplish your most “unrealistic” dream. (credit to Marie Forleo)
1. Frame your dream (goal). “We can’t become what we can’t envision”. Take a picture of it in your minds eye in vivid, specific detail. Then, translate the vision into words. Write down that big, “unrealistic dream”. You are 42% more likely to achieve your dreams if you write them down!
2. Filter opinions and fend off negativity. Neuroscience teaches us that our brains are continuously shaped by our thoughts and experiences. Negativity is toxic for your brain and nervous system and for your ability to stay motivated. Do not listen to the opinions of people who are habitually negative!
3. Always consider the source. Don’t put a lot of credit to people opinions unless they are out there being courageous and making things happen! Ask: has this person achieved an unrealistic dream? Are they taking risks on a regular basis? Do you admire who they are, how they live and what they contribute? If not, do not use them as a sounding board for your idea!
4. Flood yourself with positivity! Feed your mind and surround yourself with people (or stories of people) who have achieved unrealistic dreams. Read biographies and watch documentaries of people who made change happen.
5. Fast forward to the end of your life and ask yourself “Would I regret not doing this?” (or at least trying). The single biggest regret people have when they are on their deathbed is this: “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”. So stop worrying about what other people might think or say about your “unrealistic” dream. It really doesn’t matter.
6. Take action. Action is the antidote to fear. You don’t have to take perfect action.you just need to take small consistent actions. You’ll learn and figure it out as you take action.
What dream or desire do you have that seems “unrealistic”? Where/how have you been stopping yourself from achieving it?
The joy and freedom that come as a result of this mental emancipation is a bountiful return on the investment of time and energy required to accomplish it.